FOR THE HAPPINESS OF ALL WOMEN.
Just read this!
You study/read boring stuff, so surely you can read about something that is of intrest to you!
And I wrote this, so you're not just reading some hokem article about love in some chain letter.
This is a heartfelt article about..... matters of the heart!
***First and foremost, this is merely an experiment based on my own curiosity by observation of the responses, so DO respond! Let your opinion be heard, even if it contradicts mine.
What is it that women really want?
Why are women "so hard to understand?"
Is it really the "I'm fine" assurance or the "Does this outfit make me look fat?" loaded question that frightens your boyfriends? Or is a lack of self-esteem the core reason for our troubles?
Chic flick after chic flick, we sit and ponder what are these people doing and how do they find happy endings?!
In The Ugly Truth, an OCD woman with no clue how to secure a relationship somehow manages to win the heart of the very man that does a tv segment on how to fall in lust, not love. In He's Just Not That Into You, Gigi was throwing herself at Alex but when he tells her he's not that into her, all she has to do is get into some heated argument with him about how she's a lot closer to finding love because she takes risks and he miraculously then falls for her?? WTF. No! This isn't real life!
When you watch a movie like this, girls will start to observe... "What did this woman do to be desired by said lead male character?" And chances are, she's no prettier or more interesting and charismatic than you. Still, we think to ourselves, "What if I just lost like 10 pounds... or.. dyed my hair a different color.. Maybe he only likes girls with really dark hair? Or girls that can kick ass! Yea! Like in Resident Evil!"
Screw these movies! A wise person once told me, "500 Days of Summer is a better movie than He's Just Not That Into You because it doesn't ruin itself with a Hollywood ending." He doesn't get the girl. Not THAT girl. He learns to let go when he realizes she meant a lot more to him than he did to her. She was his world, and he was her 'this'll work for now' guy. Is YOUR relationship an equal give and take? Or do you have to get over Summer and find your Autumn?
You have to stick to your guns and go about with life. If you haven't had your happy ending yet, maybe it's because you're 19. Or 26. Or 33. Whatever! You HAVEN'T found your missing puzzle piece yet. Stop stressing. Maybe the long-term relationship you've got going is the WRONG one, but you're too afraid to leave it because you've gotten comfortable, and you think no one will ever be able to fill that void.
Ask yourself this... Are you happy? No. Are you REALLY happy? Is this ALL you ever wanted and more? If you answered YES, then congratulations, madam. You are one lucky duck! But if you hesitated, even a little, maybe this is something you should think about. If you can't find someone right now, chill out! Do you have other priorities right now such as securing a good-paying job or graduating? Find a self-fullfilling distraction, because those are the things you are SUPPOSED to be doing right now. Whether or not you're a firm believer in "things happen for a reason," going by that gives you a reason to, well, keep going. If you don't think you're pretty or on the road to success, isn't it obscolete what a possible relationship partner thinks? Be proud of yourself first, because no one else should fill those needs for you... He/she should complement those aspects, but not fill them.
On the flipside, are you already with someone... but it's not turning out like everything you'd hoped for? If not, then spit out the candy now because it's not going to taste better the longer you keep sucking on it. It doesn't matter how big or small your issue is... if you're not totally happy, then it's not right. Whether you've been with someone for 3 months or 5 years, is it worth being with the wrong person for the next 30 because you're too afraid to bow out? If you tell jokes and you feel like he/she just doesn't get your sense of humor, that's troubling. If your partner acts like a totally different person with you than he/she does around other people, that's a problem. If you have a lot in common but you wish he was a gentleman and he isn't, why are you settling?
Everyone is different. I'm not in any way saying that if two people have differences of opinions or a problem, they can't work things out... You have to find a balance. Weigh the things that are important to you. If you're really hitting it off, but he/she doesn't like the same sports teams or movies you watch or political party, it's not necessarily a deal breaker.... or is it? That's really up to you! If it really bothers you, that's your choice. What might bother some is really not a big deal to you. For example, I don't care if a guy is not that into Spongebob or doesn't like putting mayo on a sandwich, but I won't date a smoker or a guy who's cocky and isn't a gentleman. You have the power to choose how you want to be treated.
Sometimes, it really is the littlest things that make you happy. What means something to you?
Being told you're beautiful even when you're not feeling/looking your best?
Knowing your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't ashamed to say he/she is with you?
If their Facebook default picture is a picture of both of you? Or the fact that Facebook says you're in a relationship, even if "it's just facebook and he/she doesn't care?" If it makes you happy, then your partner wouldn't be so opposed to doing it. It's not silly! Maybe you SAY you don't care because you've given up hope he would make it "facebook official" but it means something to you. So don't overlook it!
How about just GETTING you? How you talk, your jokes, your quirks, your music, your habits, etc. Does he/she match up to the closeness of your CLOSEST friends?????
If not, they should!!!!!****
HERE'S A BIG ONE: Ask yourself this: Does he/she have your back in the way that you have his/hers?
If not, RUN! Run far, run fast! If that person needed you at the drop of a hat right now, would you have their back? Hopefully that answer is yes. If not, then maybe you're misleading the person you're with, and you're going to break their heart eventually. But if you do, ask yourself, do they? Again, if you even have to hesitate, then run. Maybe you or your partner has growing up to do. Maybe they'll never change to suit you. Either way, if they're not good for NOW, then be alone NOW.
What's sad is that the best, most sound advice on relationships is rendered pointless if you YOURSELF don't believe it and follow it. Know when to let go, or if you can't find anyone, learn to DO YOU. If you rule out anything in yourself you want to work on to be the best YOU you can be, then you'll always know that it's THEM and not YOU that is missing out. That's why you've got to be a strong individual on your own before you can lean on anyone else. It's okay to give love a chance. Fall in love. You will probably get hurt again. But each time you fall, you get that much closer to finding what you're supposed to have. You learn what you don't want, and what you do want. Strive for your own happy ending. Everyone deserves to be happy... even if it comes from the littlest things.
No comments:
Post a Comment