The LIttlest Things...

I want to share this with all of you, because a friend of mine was kind enough to share it with me. I did not write this, but my friend did; I just felt that it needed to be shared with girls everywhere. So here it is...the littlest things. 


FOR THE HAPPINESS OF ALL WOMEN.
Just read this!

You study/read boring stuff, so surely you can read about something that is of intrest to you!
And I wrote this, so you're not just reading some hokem article about love in some chain letter.
This is a heartfelt article about..... matters of the heart!

***First and foremost, this is merely an experiment based on my own curiosity by observation of the responses, so DO respond! Let your opinion be heard, even if it contradicts mine.

What is it that women really want?
Why are women "so hard to understand?"
Is it really the "I'm fine" assurance or the "Does this outfit make me look fat?" loaded question that frightens your boyfriends? Or is a lack of self-esteem the core reason for our troubles?

Chic flick after chic flick, we sit and ponder what are these people doing and how do they find happy endings?!

In The Ugly Truth, an OCD woman with no clue how to secure a relationship somehow manages to win the heart of the very man that does a tv segment on how to fall in lust, not love. In He's Just Not That Into You, Gigi was throwing herself at Alex but when he tells her he's not that into her, all she has to do is get into some heated argument with him about how she's a lot closer to finding love because she takes risks and he miraculously then falls for her?? WTF. No! This isn't real life!

When you watch a movie like this, girls will start to observe... "What did this woman do to be desired by said lead male character?" And chances are, she's no prettier or more interesting and charismatic than you. Still, we think to ourselves, "What if I just lost like 10 pounds... or.. dyed my hair a different color.. Maybe he only likes girls with really dark hair? Or girls that can kick ass! Yea! Like in Resident Evil!"

Screw these movies! A wise person once told me, "500 Days of Summer is a better movie than He's Just Not That Into You because it doesn't ruin itself with a Hollywood ending." He doesn't get the girl. Not THAT girl. He learns to let go when he realizes she meant a lot more to him than he did to her. She was his world, and he was her 'this'll work for now' guy. Is YOUR relationship an equal give and take? Or do you have to get over Summer and find your Autumn?

You have to stick to your guns and go about with life. If you haven't had your happy ending yet, maybe it's because you're 19. Or 26. Or 33. Whatever! You HAVEN'T found your missing puzzle piece yet. Stop stressing. Maybe the long-term relationship you've got going is the WRONG one, but you're too afraid to leave it because you've gotten comfortable, and you think no one will ever be able to fill that void.

Ask yourself this... Are you happy? No. Are you REALLY happy? Is this ALL you ever wanted and more? If you answered YES, then congratulations, madam. You are one lucky duck! But if you hesitated, even a little, maybe this is something you should think about. If you can't find someone right now, chill out! Do you have other priorities right now such as securing a good-paying job or graduating? Find a self-fullfilling distraction, because those are the things you are SUPPOSED to be doing right now. Whether or not you're a firm believer in "things happen for a reason," going by that gives you a reason to, well, keep going. If you don't think you're pretty or on the road to success, isn't it obscolete what a possible relationship partner thinks? Be proud of yourself first, because no one else should fill those needs for you... He/she should complement those aspects, but not fill them.

On the flipside, are you already with someone... but it's not turning out like everything you'd hoped for? If not, then spit out the candy now because it's not going to taste better the longer you keep sucking on it. It doesn't matter how big or small your issue is... if you're not totally happy, then it's not right. Whether you've been with someone for 3 months or 5 years, is it worth being with the wrong person for the next 30 because you're too afraid to bow out? If you tell jokes and you feel like he/she just doesn't get your sense of humor, that's troubling. If your partner acts like a totally different person with you than he/she does around other people, that's a problem. If you have a lot in common but you wish he was a gentleman and he isn't, why are you settling?

Everyone is different. I'm not in any way saying that if two people have differences of opinions or a problem, they can't work things out... You have to find a balance. Weigh the things that are important to you. If you're really hitting it off, but he/she doesn't like the same sports teams or movies you watch or political party, it's not necessarily a deal breaker.... or is it? That's really up to you! If it really bothers you, that's your choice. What might bother some is really not a big deal to you. For example, I don't care if a guy is not that into Spongebob or doesn't like putting mayo on a sandwich, but I won't date a smoker or a guy who's cocky and isn't a gentleman. You have the power to choose how you want to be treated.

Sometimes, it really is the littlest things that make you happy. What means something to you?
Being told you're beautiful even when you're not feeling/looking your best?
Knowing your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't ashamed to say he/she is with you?
If their Facebook default picture is a picture of both of you? Or the fact that Facebook says you're in a relationship, even if "it's just facebook and he/she doesn't care?" If it makes you happy, then your partner wouldn't be so opposed to doing it. It's not silly! Maybe you SAY you don't care because you've given up hope he would make it "facebook official" but it means something to you. So don't overlook it!
How about just GETTING you? How you talk, your jokes, your quirks, your music, your habits, etc. Does he/she match up to the closeness of your CLOSEST friends?????
If not, they should!!!!!****

HERE'S A BIG ONE: Ask yourself this: Does he/she have your back in the way that you have his/hers?
If not, RUN! Run far, run fast! If that person needed you at the drop of a hat right now, would you have their back? Hopefully that answer is yes. If not, then maybe you're misleading the person you're with, and you're going to break their heart eventually. But if you do, ask yourself, do they? Again, if you even have to hesitate, then run. Maybe you or your partner has growing up to do. Maybe they'll never change to suit you. Either way, if they're not good for NOW, then be alone NOW.

What's sad is that the best, most sound advice on relationships is rendered pointless if you YOURSELF don't believe it and follow it. Know when to let go, or if you can't find anyone, learn to DO YOU. If you rule out anything in yourself you want to work on to be the best YOU you can be, then you'll always know that it's THEM and not YOU that is missing out. That's why you've got to be a strong individual on your own before you can lean on anyone else. It's okay to give love a chance. Fall in love. You will probably get hurt again. But each time you fall, you get that much closer to finding what you're supposed to have. You learn what you don't want, and what you do want. Strive for your own happy ending. Everyone deserves to be happy... even if it comes from the littlest things.

A Girl's Best Friends: Her Girls and Her Shoes

"It's difficult to walk in a single woman's shoes. That's why every once in a while we need a really good pair to make the walk more fun!" - Sex and the City

As I get older I find that I value things differently than I did when I was younger. When you're a kid every person you met could had the potential to be your best friend; you bonded of a 96 count box of Crayola crayons on your first day of school and the rest was history. In high school, you bond over the stereotypical teenage things; clothes, shoes, music, boys. There's always the cliques; the jocks, the popular kids, the metal heads/punk/emo kids, the nerds, and the geeks. Everyone is separated by what you think you are and who you think they are. You never really get to know anyone the way you should. I found that all of that changed when I got to college. I was able to make a fresh start for myself, be whoever I wanted to be, yet be the person I knew deep down that I was all along. 


College was where I met my best friends (and reconnected with an old friend). My best friend Jenna and I met in our senior year of high school working at a craft store. We didn't go to the same high school, but met on Halloween 2006...she was dressed like a dalmatian and I was wearing a princess crown...my first day of work and we bonded instantly. To this day we say that Halloween is our anniversary. I met Melissa our sophomore year of college at the first day of dance practice. Our captains had this idea that we'd all get to be great friends if we did these community questionnaires before each practice so we could get to know each other. I remember that the question was "what's your favorite movie" and I wrote down Harry Potter. Not five minutes later did I hear this high pitched little voice scream "who wrote Harry Potter?!" and that was that. Best friends.

 In light of my friends and I, I like to think we're much like the girls from Sex and the City...even if there are only three of us. We're inseparable, each with our own personalities and ways of doing things, yet at the end of the day if we called each other and said "I need you" we'd be in the car making the trip to be with the other. That's just the way it works with us. I find that my best friends are, in a sense, like the shoes in my closet; bear with me on this one, I promise it will make sense. 


Each shoe serves a purpose, each one looks different, fits different; a different color, shape, heel, you name it and the variety of shoes in my closet is incredible. I find that the diversity of my shoes reminds me so much of the diversity of my friends. Each one of us serves a different purpose and has a different way of viewing things. My friend's are like my shoes; I can't leave the house without the right pair of shoes or I feel completely off balance. It's the same perspective with the girls, I feel off balance if I don't talk to them for a few days, if we don't see each other because of work or school; it just doesn't feel right. 


The same way a girl needs the right shoes is the same way that a girl doesn't feel complete if she doesn't have good friends to walk through life with. Right shoes can make all the difference, and I know that by having the right friends in my life, it's made all the difference. My girls are like my sisters, and the next closest thing would be for the three of us to truly be blood related. 


I'm dedicating this post to my best friends, Jenna and Melissa; and to all the girls who have the right pairs of shoes in their life. <3

Happy Holidays?

I'm starting to think that retail therapy in any way is a thing of the past when the holidays are upon us. I can't say I've gotten much shopping done; okay I lied, I haven't gotten any of my shopping done, but I'm really dreading the whole day at the mall thing. I already spend all of my time there as it is, work has officially swallowed me whole. Aside from that, people are down right rude during the holidays! I'm not saying that we've all got to be bubbly and cheery and singing jingle bells as we walk around the mall, but I can't stomach the attitude of some of these people. It is the holidays after all, and I can't help but wonder if these people realize that. 

It's the Christmas season, and in my eyes that's a time for giving, and as a person who works in retail I've pretty much given not just my life to help people search out and purchase the perfect timeless gift, but I've also given my time, opinion and honesty. Now, for a large handful of the people I do help, they appreciate it. I like the nice people; but get nasty with me while I'm helping you and I'm just going to smother on the kindness. Kill em with kindness is what I always say. 


I get it, you know what a stylus is, sue me for trying to help you out with your gift purchase. Yea, you were looking at technology accessories; I made a suggestion, that's my job. People get rude when they hear a price they don't like, when they need to buy something expensive, or when it's not 100% what they thought they would find. "You mean you don't have it here? I have to go somewhere else?" Yes, you need to walk somewhere else in the mall. IN THE MALL. It's not a foreign country, I'm not telling you that you need to swim vast oceans to find your product, I'm telling you that just maybe, you need to hop on the escalator and walk 20 or 30 feet to another store. 

I thoroughly am fed up and disappointed with the level of rudeness that some of these people exhibit. It's Christmas, celebrate it with joy, and try and be happy. Don't look at it as "ugh I need to buy for HIM" think of it as being lucky that you have that person in your life and you can get them a gift. There's a lot of people who don't have that special someone in their life anymore, or whose spouse, brother, sister, regardless, isn't with them this holiday or can't be with them. It shouldn't make you aggravated to shop for people,  you still have them. Think of the people who don't. This is the second year I can't buy my G-ma a Christmas gift, and the fifth Christmas my mom is spending without her sister. 

I hope that everyone looks at what they do have this Christmas, and not what you don't have. Think of all that you have and thank whoever it is that you believe in for that person, or that special something in your life. I know I'll be doing it on Christmas morning, and while I'm with my family. 


Happy shopping, baking & decorating!